Life and Happiness. :

Life is nothing but a fight. Whoa!!!! and what a fight it sometimes is.
Anything worth fighting for is what keeps us going and that includes even the simplest act like getting up each morning and every breath one takes.
The older I get the more I tend to agree that no matter what you do, where you go, what you achieve, who you meet, who you even choose to spend your life growing old with.... true happiness is something you alone create without the help of anyone/ anything else and you alone can sustain...the rest is temporary and similar to rented space... But (there’s always a but) as life itself is temporary there is nothing wrong with finding and living with rented happiness…Nothing whatsoever as it beats no happiness at all. :-)

Doing the best I can..

Where do I even start …I’ve resisted thus far not to post on this topic for in truth raising kids is bewildering to say the least.Your ideals and the advice you get fly out the window and real life experience and situations begin to guide and dictate...
Everychild is different how then can one stick by rules… so you break them and re- invent them but in short you do what it takes and more especially you do what you consider to be the best that you can do. And just when you think you have something figured out and want to put pen to paper you’re caught out by further surprises which no doubt are fuelled by the constant fluctuating levels of hormones prevalent in teenagers.. So everyday is a different day, some moments priceless and some bloodcurdling. My boy can be a saint today and the devil the next ..and somehow I seem to match his sentiments as I’m only human and lack the strength not to retaliate accordingly.
His world is only great if it revolves around him all the time and we all know living under those pretexts sooner or later the bubble is bound to burst failing that he finds himself living in a very, very insular world. Not cool at all..
But like most other people we have picture perfect family days when we’re all feeling warm , fuzzy and affectionate and extremely happy to have each other and just to be alive and then there are some days when we put the Adams Family to shame. .. its part of life…. taking the good and the bad, adjusting , learning to accept that perfection although possible at times is firstly susceptible to change itself and secondly hardly ever sustainable for long periods of time..
Right now my boy’s in that body beauty/ vanity is my name / I’m in love phase …not only with himself but with a nice young girl who seems equally smitten….I’m trying hard to refrain from any undue cynicism and to let things be, whilst ensuring that he does not get too fixated either ..
Its a balancing act and I’m often heavily slandered for my role as “chief balancier” ( its a title I’ve not only made up but bestowed upon myself too .. The queen I’m told is far too busy to worry about titles for us homely housewife types who none the less….. perform unnoticed small miracles from time to time. (Tut tut tut.)….
Anyway I’m also told that slander in any form be it…rudeness, harsh words , rebuffs , silent treatment , banging of car doors, wearing faces that look like the world has ended or the constant use of the word “whatever”…..from your teenage kids is their way of saying “I can’t see the validity of your point right now as it truly sucks and is most unsuitable to my current lifestyle but I’m sure its coming from someplace good therefore I should love you for it”


So for now I’ll take what I can get and any love is good love.. (as the song goes)…
And besides…
If most of everything comes packaged differently these days… why not love huh? :)

Testing times..

Now nursing a week long chest infection which has severely deprived me of sleep turning me in a functioning zombie or at best someone whose stuck in a bad mood. And the worst part of it all is that I should be happy .. there is just so much happening that should and would delight me in normal circumstances but I can’t feel a wretched thing…For starters the cops have recovered my old car which was stolen some three years ago.. now that in my country is something to celebrate… the fact that I no longer legally own it and that there is a huge racket around the recovery of stolen cars, insurance co, salvage contracters, the insured losing money etc.. etc.. , is another matter altogether.
Its freezing tonight .. think there is also some hail , and the wind is howling I can hear it loud and clear…..everyone else is asleep including my dog. .its now 3.30 am….. still I left my warm bed as I couldn’t bear it any longer..my head connecting to the pillow just triggers my coughing bouts.. short of sleeping upright while sitting on a chair I’m blogging with the hope that soon I’ll be exhausted and crawl back to bed this time with more success and without having to try 101 different sleeping styles finding none worthwhile ending up disturbing my sleeping partner in the process.

Don’t ever underestimate the powers of a decent nights sleep and be truly grateful if you’ve had one.